As I sit here in my new home in the South Valley of Albuquerque, I feel grateful and sad at the same time. My husband and I are no longer husband and wife. We just signed our documents today. That makes me sad. A friend suggested I do a grieving ceremony, but I've been doing them impromptu pretty often, so planning for one maybe isn't necessary. Usually I'm able to fill my time with enough "to do" things that I can keep the grieving at bay when necessary, but tonight-on this night-I am allowing myself the time to grieve the death of my marriage. The transformation of my old life into my new life. A life I have no idea about where I will go or what I will do. A life filled with possibilities, pitfalls, and wonder.
I am grateful for my beautiful home. I feel safe. I feel wrapped in love. And I feel sad at the same time. And I know grieving is an absolute necessity to healing, no matter how difficult it is. We still love each other and want the best for each other. That is a gift. I see us being friends and getting a drink together every once in a while, but I still miss him. And I will be ok.
This painting, Woman Rising, is about rebirth, renewal, resurrection. The new life that inevitably follows the death of anything. I keep my gaze lifted. And my soul rooted in our beautiful, life giving Earth, sustained by Her Love. I am grateful.